PLANE, STATUS QUO AND VUVUZELAS

30.000 kms away or more in Colombia I used to think that the plane theory applied to me completely but know here in Pretoria in South Africa( or now known as The City of Tshwane) I learn every day that life and God has surprises around the corners ready to be discovered and mark you forever. The plane theory says that if there is an emergency you put the oxygen mask first; you help yourself before you help others. However landing in Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg a month ago with a temperature of 4 degrees and arriving in a very humble but friendly house of volunteers made me realize how easy is to disturb the status quo. The question was and will always be: Do I want to disturb mine? Coming from the comforts of my home in Colombia to not having anything else but our bags, knowledge and mutual love with my husband was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I said good-bye to people and things I love and every single day I have tears in my eyes remembering one person or another. But at the same time my status quo was that…a status quo…and a turbulence called love changed my life transforming futile my own comfort, my own self, my own oxygen and put my whole life in perspective in a different and far away country.

Every single day I deal with the dichotomy that my spirituality teaches me that Christ was able to be content working with poor and homeless and not have anything while at the same time I find the need to have a safe clean and nice home for my recent marriage. And every single day I handle thousands of feelings between admiration, surprise, frustration, happiness, and lessons from God, wonderful reflections from Berend and by life itself. On one side I think highly of woman here. Wiser than many, they carry their children close to them until they are capable of walking creating I think a sense of security in children which makes them look very happy and protected. At the same time they carry three bags, a blanket and maybe something in their heads due to the fact that poverty makes people change of housing all the time and all they can carry is their home. Women have power positions like the Mayor of Pretoria but I also have observed the extremely quietness of some woman in contrast of my own outspoken personality as a result of a still very chauvinist society which makes men hardly have business with woman apart of being maybe a wife or someone pretty to look and harass at if not the be affected by family violence and have to fled from their own husband or boyfriends. Even worse, see young girls sold to prostitution, having suffering from sexual violence loose their own capacity to believe in themselves and their smile.

On the other hand amazingly happy children but at the same time with stern faces that represent the fact that they have to survive with poverty and their own families suffering. Amazing sunsets and sunrises are with me everyday in a beautiful city that has the amazing characteristics of the African continent but garbage is still an issue and the still not so sure how to define terrible sound of vuvuzelas (huge horns used in the stadiums) which people carry around happily as a way to show happiness and cars competing to have the biggest stereo don’t allow me to sleep well. At the same time incredible people spiritually connected to God and amazingly hopeful to change the city and the world are my first official network here and have received me as part of their organization all though I am only a volunteer.( TLF-Tshwane Leadership Foundation).

We even had to put in stand by some of our values. Always proud that we used public transportation and bicycles to move around and never liked the car because is one of the worst elements responsible of Global Warming…now we have to have a one to have a social life and do something after dark. And due to those uncomfortable roaches, every single time wash dishes, which implies more soap into the environment and more use of water, still can you trust God? Why not? When you have nothing of the comfort you had back home and you are surrounded by 5 different languages, in a completely strange, complex and not so safe city and all your knowledge and experience is not enough because everything you are is tested day by day there is no other option but to have a blind faith that somehow things will be okay.

Life goes on…and we are on that train...this city gets you…one day you love it and one you hate it. I am starting to teach Spanish, help in TLF with educational process and other activities while Berend is being an Advocacy Advisor and more due to all his previous experiences…meanwhile as people say here Sharp Sharp (Everything okay) !

Saying yes!

One small decision can change your life. Or a big one. All I know is that not going to Prague as I had planned after the celebration of the five years of the Third Chamber in April 2008 in order to know Berend Brock much more, made me say yes to change my plans without hesitation. Made me be brave enough to spend an extra weekend with him in Netherlands and Belgium. And now wonderfully almost a year after, saying yes to a life together.

Is the first Third Chamber wedding (www.thethirdchamber.org) Two people from different cultures: Berend, being Dutch as much as he can be...and me...being Latin and Colombian as much as I can be. Both incredibly independent but stubborn. Both incredibly world citizens but very proud of our countries. Now a new culture is beginning. A Colombian-Dutch-World Culture. We both are willing to bring to our marriage the best of our cultures, and import those things that we have discovered in our travels and we think are amazing. We even are willing to bring those things that are not so easy for each other to turn them into what we are going to call home.

Proudly we can affirm that the celebration of Saying Yes went quite well. We invited everyone by Internet to save trees. A barbecue in my family’s farm in a beautiful region of Colombia called Ubate (or the capital of milk) was the welcoming for the 95 guests. We had people from everywhere. Dutch family, Dutch friends, Aleyda from The Third Chamber, French Friends, Italian friends, family and friends from work, YMCA, and friends that are there after years and years. We broke protocol. I received the guests in a nice suit...and Berend came later with me opening the door for him. At 14:00 hours I escaped to get ready in my white dress and Berend had a last minute decoration issues. We head to the chapel of the farm. We got married in the Catholic ritual. Tears in my eyes and tears in Berend’s eyes. Even tears in everyone’s eyes. Our vows are full of love, promises and gratitude for each other’s love and we say them in three languages and Berend’s father who passed away two weeks ago was in our hearts and in our words.

Tears again when a letter from my brother who lives in Australia and couldn’t come is read surprisingly by one of my cousins. We leave the chapel and instead of flowers...everyone throws bubbles and the party begins. We dance "Brabant" and " Que bonita es la vida". We eat Colombian desserts instead of the formal cake and we danced until very late combining karaoke in Dutch, English and Spanish. The Dutch and Colombian flag are part of the dance...and then we go to our wedding night in a beautiful colonial hotel.

Saying yes feels just amazing. I am saying yes to a new life. I am saying yes to a life of commitment with the man I love. Saying yes is assuming God’s will to marry in his name. Saying yes even implies saying no to being alone, to take decisions only for myself. Saying yes includes stepping into a new world called South Africa. But most of all Saying yes is accepting love completely in my life.

I can only say I recommend it. Marrying...saying yes...it is worth it. As the priest said to us...in a world where love is cynical…stories like Berend`s and I is a prove that love does exist. He was able to cross the ocean for me...and I am willing to follow him wherever he goes. Is love and for that reason is worth it.